Pride and Prejudice erroneously reviewed

The story opens with the line "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." And Its all down hill from there.

I kid, I kid.

Though the watching of Pride and Prejudice took three sittings and was wrought with rewinds, repeats, and explanations (I’m a bit deaf and a bit slow to learn characters) I found my final thoughts on the film pleasant ones. Truly there is a reason the classics are so classic.

In almost any film I watch I love to see one thing above all else and that is character development. I love people, I love to watch them and talk to them and learn every widget that makes them tick. Between this and my romantic streak I was quickly engrossed in the story of two people so excellent on their own and with so much in between them and yet so thoroughly meant for each other. Surely this is rich ground for character development, and so it was.

Fitzwilliam Darcy, the son of a rich family (with 10,000 a year!) was a man we were at first led to believe was very much married to his social status (hence pride), mainly that being higher than everyone else’s around him. His tendency to judge too quickly and too condescendingly solidified the audiences first impression on him. This attitude causes him to become the focus of distain by Elizabeth. As the story progresses Mr. Darcy’s true character is revealed much to the delight of every girl in the room. Mr. Darcy really was a man above men, a man you could lean on, didn’t care if he received credit for his honorable actions, he was modest, persistent, patient, and gentile. The only Problem is that he’s cast in such a romantic light that all the exemplary characteristics a male view would like to mimic/identify with are washed away in the bated breath of every swooning woman in the room. It just kinda leaves you (the male viewer) feeling like a man off at war who suddenly realized that his gun has a red plastic tip. As this all unfolded I thought of myself and the other men watching and thought: “Oh no, I hope this isn’t what we’re supposed to measure up to.”

Elizabeth Bennet was as well a singularly exemplary woman if not a bit quick to judge and a bit to sure of her judgments (hence prejudice). Modest, intelligent, quick witted, and confident. Truly enough woman to pull (lure;) Mr. Darcy out of the shell of his pride fully actualizing himself as a character. One thing that I particularly liked about this character is that she was truly a credit to her father. Allow me to preach a moment… -Ahem- Oh that the world had more daughters of whom their fathers said “I am a better man for knowing you. You enrich my life and I am proud to support and protect you as a bowman does his finest arrow.” Some young women are roses with very few thorns and some are thorn bushes that flower. Lizzy isn’t all doe eyed and simple minded which is good. But even better is that she doesn’t pretend to be a some delicate flower blooming in the sunshine of her own manufactured happiness. In my experience this lasts until something goes against her dominion, at which point this type of woman goes on the war path until everyone is firmly brow beaten into her way at which point she goes back to believing she’s not only a rose but that roses don’t have thorns. (That last part was kinda random but… you asked.)

I have got a little beef with the story. The biggest problem is that it was very thought provoking, which of itself is no trauma save the fact it leads one to converse the subject with are girls, which just won’t do because well… then you’re talking to a girl (which are yucky). In all seriousness I thought is was lame that none of the characters were Christians. Most of them should have been and would have been, I believe, had Jane Austen her self been saved. Such noble characteristics are rarely found in the worlds people.

Also I found it a little sickening that for five hours you had to endure the realities of what happens to people when they have NO work to do and just sit around collecting their five thousand a year from who knows what (the slave trade is my best guess) and getting all worked up over who their going to marry. YUCK! Get a life you bunch of losers. I like officers ordinarily but if I ever met one like the ones in this film I’d punch him for even looking at my sister with that “Goodie! We get to dance with the village girls” grin. “Go some place dirty" I'd say "and dodge bullets for a year or five, and after you’ve forgotten how dance and learned how to bleed come talk to me!” This movie would have been a lot different if the girls had one brother worth his salt. Of course if Mr. Bennet had an heir we wouldn’t have ever meet the second greatest source of amusement in the whole novel: Mr. Collins! That guy was such a greasy little slime ball that he could probably slide across the floor flat on his belly given a good enough push. As nasty as he was I found no end of entertainment at his every expression.

The only one who out did Collins was Mrs. Bennet whose cries of “OH MR. BENNET!!!” haunt my every thought of living with a woman more than ten years. The fact is though that her plight really wasn’t her fault as the odds were stacked against her from the begining. Between 1. being an airhead to begin with (“I knew Mr. Wickham was no good” “Aye sister so did I, and warned the girls”), 2. having nothing to do with her self (not that anyone did as they were so wealthy from the booming african slave trade), and 3. having an abundance of children (especially girl children). By the time that “the spring had dried up”, if you will, the deal was sealed. Mrs. Bennet was diagnosable/certifiable/nuttier than squirrel droppings insane. Really the blame lies at the feet of Mr. Bennet who should have recognized the signs early and in desperation fired all the help so at least she’d have some dishes to do. Anything in her life besides the fate of her “tragically” unwed daughters would a great boon to her nerves. Let this story be a lesson to you young men. Take these three signs and symptoms down and remember that only with diligence and vigilance (or utter abstinence) can this tragedy be avoided in your life.

En précis I enjoyed the movie quite a bit I’d give it eight mandibles out of ten. If you’re a guy I wouldn’t try to watch it alone or with out mixed company and If you’re a girl you’ve already seen it, all twelve versions and are offended at something I’ve said.