Why girls need brothers

Part one,

The Humphreys have always made it a point to indoctrinate me in their favorite movies. The movies are lame and I hate them... ( to those of my readers who actually listen to my words and believe them I like about 75% of the movies and the other 25% is was just nice to have some one to hang out with so it's not so bad any way. H's tend to decide what I mean before I say it... hence the explanation) so yeah like I said every movie they show me is terrible and such a labor.

One Genre of movies that has presented a unique challenge to me is the Girly movie. (you know the ones that always seem to have a smarmy brunette the classic ---"word and otherword"--- titles?) They're pretty good really lots of interesting characters some cool some super irritating (like the classic nosey mom character)... But it is SO annoying watching movies with people who've seen them a million times.

You know how the first time you watch a movie a lot happens that you don’t really pay attention to, it’s just little stuff that wouldn’t really mean anything in real life so you just let it go? Well then after you know the “punch line/big happening” of a movie it turns out that all those little events were really just foreshadowing and character preparation, right? Well every time this happens they look at me like “did you get that?” I’m like “uh no! never seen this movie before… get what?” then they give me this line like “You’re not paying attention, you have A.D.D.!!! You hate us and our movies!!!” Man if that doesn’t make a guy want to walk out on a movie I don’t know what does.

A movie to me it a time to relax and just watch stuff happen to other people, it not a little competitive game where you search for detail like a beagle searching the floor on popcorn night…

I really should know better than to post this stuff by now. I don’t know why I can’t just write clever stuff like my P&P review that everyone thought was so funny, (cause it was)

I think its just cause Its so much easier to get everyone all riled up and create a bunch of drama instead of…


Part two,

Ok the first part of the move really was pretty boring. (just realized I haven’t said what movie yet… Ok I’ll come clean it was “Wives and Daughters”)

But the second half is where all the “Action” was. The main character Molly was about the sweetest girl any lonely female author ever dreamed up. She was a friend to people who didn’t deserve it was polite to a step mother who needed to have her face cross stitched real good, and didn’t flirt with a guy who she liked.

There is one thing that the movie lacked that would have greatly eased the troubles of the heroine, and that thing is brothers. I told Bek I’d title this post “why girls need brothers” and this movie is a prime example. See Molly was just to polite to “just get it done” and even though fate conspired to help her out it would have been immensely satisfying to see a cultured polite yet deeply masculine brother apply his strength and influence to sparing his beloved sister the trouble, heartache and defamation of character.

If you watch this movie just imagine a brother repaying Mr. Preston this 20 pounds plus 5%. Imagine him dealing with the super fun stepmom, in fact if he’d been cool enough then he probably wouldn’t have allowed his Dad to marry such a weird woman. All his dad would have had to say when the little “milk moustache” med student started sending letters to Molly would be “Keep an eye on her” and it’d be a done deal.

I decided that this was the one I liked the best of the 3 I’ve seen so far. Though the other two did have better male leads. The guy in North and South was really cool, and Mr. Darcy is so cool is kinda “lego-lasy” (don’t even think the “J” work little stinker we all know that just the only card left). There is one thing that always weirds me out about these “upper crust post colonial” romance movies is the fear that French peasants are going to invade the set and guillotine everyone because of their pompous excess. I just hate not seeing any poor people in these movies it’s like their too yucky to let in the city. That’s how you anger them, by being pompous and silly.

There is another thing I don’t like about these movies. The fact that they’re such a silly soap opera (wow Aaron those chick flicks are soap operas) Ok they’re not that bad they really do have some cool characters and interesting story lines. (did I just say “cool and interesting?!” Where has my vocabulary gone?!) I hate the idea that the most interesting part of our life is the romance shortly before we marry and that after that you just settle into a dull drudgery of
A) if you’re a man some study in art science or business.
B) if you’re a woman the marrying off of your children.

I just feel like they paint a disproportionate picture of ones life. There should be more to a woman’s life than her children’s romance and more to a mans that a dull continuous life reclused in a library or office.

I think the root of the problem is too much romance before marriage makes the big day the end rather than the beginning.

You know who you are…