down into the rabbit hole again we go.

Wow, so this whole working thing is super interesting. I mean its affect on me is interesting. I've been striving toward this end for all my life really, why did I learn to read in 1st grade? So I can be a productive member of society, and like 20 years later here I am doing it. In a sense Its kind of a let down, I feel a bit like "Ok I did that thing were all supposed to grow up and do, so what next?"

I can definitely understand why some people become workaholics. At work I'm like a somebody with tasks and responsibility and authority, ya know? people come to ME and ask MY opinion about MY patients. I guess now I have this thing in my pocket, or maybe around my neck, called "nursing judgment" that I whip out and make freelance decisions with. It's all wild west style, I have some If-->Then guidelines but I'm not dominated buy them, and most of them are like "If your N.J. says to then go ahead, otherwise... don't" Also I'm making a pretty stupid amount of money, I think its a total scam, but I'm an "if there's room for my thumb in the pie why not" kinda guy. I can also understand how one would get very distracted from serving God like one should with their job. But work is very satisfying, like a good CrossFit work out, you feel like you really got something done and don't have to feel all convicted about what a lazy slob you are. Then there's all that "i have money so I don't have to feel terrible about buying something" deal, thats good fun too.